A 20-year-old Filipina student, using the pseudonym Aileen, has sought advice from columnist Noy Kulas about her secret romantic relationship with her uncle and their plans to marry abroad. The case highlights the complex social and legal taboos surrounding consanguineous relationships in the Philippines.
A Secret Family Romance
The young woman detailed an unconventional love story that began during a family reunion in the middle of last year. She reconnected with her uncle, referred to as Nato, who is 30 years old and the younger half-brother of her mother. With only a ten-year age gap, Nato had helped look after her when she was a child before his family moved to Manila.
Their reunion sparked an immediate and intense connection. Aileen described how her uncle hugged her tightly, saying he missed her. This led to secret dates and a relationship that quickly escalated from kissing during a movie to a full romantic commitment. Both confessed to being in love, despite the shocking nature of their familial tie.
Plans for a Future Abroad
Despite the physical distance after Nato returned to Manila, the pair maintained their relationship through continuous communication and video calls, which their families did not find suspicious. Nato has since proposed a future plan: once Aileen graduates from college, they will apply for jobs abroad together, live there, and get married.
His promise to wait for her graduation led Aileen to pose her central question to Noy Kulas: "Is it okay if we get married there abroad? Can we get married if we are abroad?" She is specifically inquiring about the legality and morality of their plan to circumvent Philippine law by marrying overseas.
Noy Kulas Weighs In on Legal and Social Realities
In his response published on January 16, 2026, Noy Kulas provided a nuanced answer that addressed both the legal technicalities and profound social consequences.
He first explained that marriage between an uncle and a niece is strictly prohibited under both civil and church law in the Philippines, as it is in most countries. He introduced the term "avunculate marriage" to describe such unions, noting they are permitted in only a few nations in Asia and Europe, historically to keep property within a family circle.
However, Noy Kulas strongly emphasized the potential fallout. He urged Aileen to deeply consider how their families would feel upon discovering the relationship. The shame, pain, and likely rejection could be severe, even if such a marriage were legally possible elsewhere. He pointed out that in the Philippines, even marriages between distant cousins can be viewed with suspicion by family and community.
His final advice was a sober warning: "There is a very big chance that you will no longer be accepted by your respective families if you proceed with your plan and do not cut off the relationship." He encouraged them to think very carefully before moving forward, as the social cost would likely be immense and permanent.
