In a heartfelt letter to the long-running advice column "Noy Kulas," a 35-year-old woman named Lina shares a complex emotional dilemma involving a past love who has unexpectedly reentered her life. Lina expresses deep gratitude for the column's enduring presence, noting it as a reliable source of guidance during troubling times.
A Past Relationship Rekindled
Lina recounts her history with a high school boyfriend who continued their relationship into his second year of college. Over four years, she believed they were destined for a lifelong partnership, but her hopes were dashed when his family migrated abroad, leading to a complete cessation of communication. Initially heartbroken, Lina eventually moved on, dated other men briefly, and even forgot about him as she embraced her own life journey.
An Unexpected Reunion
The situation took a dramatic turn last December during a class reunion, where Lina was surprised to encounter her ex-boyfriend without prior warning from classmates. They reconnected, sharing updates about their lives. He explained the reasons behind their lost communication and revealed his current status: he had married a fellow Filipino abroad but is now divorced, and he is engaged to another woman, with a wedding planned for May.
Despite his impending nuptials, he expressed a willingness to call off the wedding if Lina agrees to rekindle their romance, aiming for a "forever" together. This revelation has left Lina emotionally conflicted, unsure whether to feel sorrow or joy, and grappling with the decision to accept or reject his proposal.
Noy Kulas' Expert Advice
In his response, Noy Kulas provides crucial legal and personal guidance. He clarifies that if the ex-boyfriend remains a Filipino citizen, his foreign divorce may not be recognized under the Philippine Family Code, which does not acknowledge divorce. For them to marry legally in the Philippines, the ex-boyfriend would need to file for annulment in a local court. Alternatively, if he acquired citizenship in the country where he was married, that divorce might be recognized in the Philippines, but it requires court validation.
Weighing the Decision
Noy Kulas urges Lina to reflect deeply on the ex-boyfriend's past actions and character. He points out potential red flags, such as a lack of steadfastness and unclear direction in relationships, evidenced by his treatment of both Lina and his former wife. The advice columnist emphasizes that if the ex-boyfriend has demonstrated inconsistency with two women, there is no guarantee he would act differently with Lina.
He advises against rushing into a decision, recommending that Lina thoroughly investigate the ex-boyfriend's life over the intervening years and get to know him again before making any commitments. The column concludes with Noy Kulas' contact email, rojval69@yahoo.com, for further correspondence.
