Jessel's Heartfelt Plea: Navigating a Marriage Marred by Parental Pressure and Ego-Centric Behavior
In a poignant letter to Noy Kulas, a 38-year-old woman named Jessel reveals the deep-seated turmoil in her marriage, stemming from a decision heavily influenced by her parents. Working at a private company for 12 years, Jessel met her husband there, initially hoping for a supportive partner. However, she soon discovered his ego-centric nature, where he consistently ignores her feelings and fails to consider the impact of his actions on her.
The Weight of Parental Intervention and Unfulfilled Expectations
Jessel explains that she had reservations about marrying him and even rejected his proposal. But her parents intervened, pressuring her to go through with the wedding to avoid conflict. Reluctantly, she agreed, only to witness his true behavior emerge post-marriage. He makes unilateral decisions that should involve both partners, leaving Jessel to solve the problems he creates, which has become a frequent source of arguments.
While Jessel acknowledges his right to help his family, she notes that it has become excessive, leaving little for their own household. From the beginning, he has disregarded her, forcing her to constantly find solutions to issues he generates. She has warned him that if this pattern continues, separation might be the best option, seeking validation for her stance.
Noy Kulas' Insightful Response: Prioritizing Peace and Practical Planning
Noy Kulas responds by highlighting that this issue has been evident since their dating days, exacerbated by the marriage occurring under parental pressure. He points out that Jessel's lack of initial intent to marry makes leaving easier, but stresses the emotional and psychological stress caused by her husband's problematic behavior.
If Jessel believes separation would lead to a peaceful mind and benefit her children, Noy Kulas supports this path, provided it is well-planned. He advises clarifying financial support, child custody, and parental responsibilities beforehand. This step should only be taken if her husband refuses to change or engage in marriage counseling, emphasizing self-preservation over enduring a toxic dynamic.
