Dear Noy Kulas,
Just call me Minie, 24 years old. I have a boyfriend of four years. I loved and respected him. He is good and I have nothing to complain about. But I have a problem that weighs on my conscience.
Last year, I became closer to his family. That's when I met his uncle, who just returned from abroad and is still single. At first, our conversations were ordinary. But as time passed, I was surprised to find that I felt more comfortable with him than with my boyfriend. I am happy when we talk, and sometimes I realize that I am always thinking about him.
Nothing has happened between us yet. But I am afraid that my heart might fall for someone it shouldn't. I don't intend to hurt my boyfriend. I also don't want to ruin their relationship as nephew and uncle. Sometimes I wonder if I really love my boyfriend or if I am just confused about my feelings. What should I do? Should I forget this feeling and continue our relationship, or should I be honest with myself even if someone gets hurt?
Minie
Noy Kulas' Advice
Minie, you will definitely ruin a relationship if you continue your constant communication with his uncle and keep meeting and talking with him. I am sure your boyfriend wakes up every morning unaware, because you might be keeping this a secret.
Even if nothing wrong has happened yet and he hasn't expressed any feelings for you, what you are doing is still cheating. You are cheating on him with your secret meetings with his uncle, if you are doing that. The best thing you can do is to gradually avoid his uncle. No more conversations between the two of you alone. No more meetings between the two of you alone. If you have any secret chats, cut them off. The cutting off must start with you, not with his uncle. The sooner, the better. Because if you delay, the time might come when you wake up and you are already in a relationship with his uncle.
