Dear Noy Kulas,
I am writing to you after reading about the man who became a woman. I will use the alias Dems, 45 years old, married, with two children. Our children are already grown up. Both my spouse and I are busy with our jobs, holding positions in our respective workplaces. We only get to go out on Sundays, and sometimes during company outings or out-of-town trips.
I have a close friend at work. He is a man, but I recently found out that he is bisexual because he is also married and has children. We have been friends for about five years, and I never expected he was bisexual. I found out when we went on an overnight trip, and in my drunkenness, something happened between us. I felt strange when I sobered up, but it happened again. Now I crave what we did. It is not frequent, but we seek each other out. No one suspects because we are just friends. We do not always go out alone. What is happening to me? Am I turning gay?
Dems
Noy Kulas' Response
Dems,
Perhaps you are tired of being a man? But seriously, ask yourselves the following: 1) What led you into this relationship? Emotion, sexuality, or confusion about who you are? 2) Are you still happy in your respective marriages? 3) Are you ready to face the consequences if you get caught and the truth comes out?
How is your marriage? Are you happy? Through these answers, you will be guided on what to do next. Of course, I would say this path leads to separation and ending your relationship. Sooner or later, you will both be caught, and think of the shame. If there are problems in the marriage, why not solve them? Ending it is difficult, but it is worth it, even if you cannot see it now. Since you are friends, distance yourselves first. Set boundaries for yourselves. Instead, focus on your respective partners and families.
Noy Kulas
