A man named Elmer, 47 years old, has written to an advice columnist seeking clarity on his marital status and future plans. Elmer was abandoned by his wife about ten years ago when she left him for another man. Since that painful separation, Elmer has dated other women but never entered into a serious relationship, largely due to the trauma inflicted by his wife's actions and concerns from his children.
Emotional Struggles and a New Beginning
Elmer's children have expressed strong reservations about him living with another woman, fearing he might be abandoned again. This fear is rooted in a past incident where Elmer nearly attempted suicide, but was fortunately prevented by his sister's intervention. It took him two years to move on from that dark period.
A Reunion Sparks Hope
Last September, Elmer attended a high school reunion and reconnected with his longtime crush, who now lives abroad and has been a widow for three years. Their rekindled connection quickly blossomed into a relationship, with Elmer spending a week living with her in her condo. Unexpectedly, she became pregnant, as she had not yet reached menopause and did not anticipate conceiving.
She now wishes to return home, marry Elmer, and take him abroad with her. This development has prompted Elmer to question the legality of his situation. He wonders if he can legally marry her, given that he and his wife have been separated for so long, and whether his wife could still file a case against him.
Legal Expert Weighs In
The advice columnist, Noy Kulas, provides a thorough legal perspective. He explains that despite the 10-year separation, Elmer remains legally married because their marriage was never annulled. Annulment would have been necessary to dissolve the union legally.
Prescription Period and Moral Ground
Noy Kulas highlights that Elmer had the right to file a case against his wife for abandonment, with a prescription period of seven years. However, since Elmer did not exercise this right within that timeframe, he can no longer pursue legal action against her. The columnist advises consulting a lawyer for personalized guidance but reassures Elmer that it is unlikely his wife would file a case against him, given that she was the one who abandoned the marriage and thus lacks moral standing.
Practical Steps Forward
Instead of dwelling on past legalities, Noy Kulas suggests that Elmer focus on his future with his new partner. He recommends that Elmer inform his children about this new development, as they have a right to know. For marriage prospects, the columnist points out that while Philippine law does not recognize divorce, Elmer could potentially file for divorce abroad if he moves there with his partner, allowing them to marry overseas.
Legal Separation as an Alternative
In the Philippines, Elmer could consider filing for legal separation with the help of a lawyer. This would help in dividing their estate and assets, providing a clearer financial framework. Noy Kulas concludes by emphasizing that Elmer should not worry about his wife pursuing legal action, as the circumstances favor his position due to her initial fault in the marriage breakdown.
