In a heartfelt letter to SunStar Tambagi, a reader named Rey, a discreet member of the LGBTQ+ community in Cebu, has opened up about personal struggles with relationships and growing fears over the increasing number of HIV cases in the region. As Valentine's Day approaches, Rey expresses feelings of loneliness and anxiety, highlighting the complex intersection of love, identity, and health safety.
Navigating Love and Health Concerns in Cebu
Rey, who is 30 years old, reveals that only a few people know about his homosexuality, as he prefers to keep it discreet. He has been actively working on self-improvement but is now terrified of entering into same-sex relationships due to alarming reports of rising HIV cases in Cebu. This fear was compounded by a recent painful experience with a secret boyfriend, whom Rey broke up with last December after discovering that the partner was involved with three other individuals.
The Impact of Betrayal and Health Risks
Rey explains that he had explicitly warned his ex-boyfriend about his fears of sexually transmitted diseases, especially given the surge in HIV incidents. Despite threats to end the relationship if infidelity occurred, the partner continued with multiple affairs, putting Rey at significant risk. This betrayal has left Rey feeling angry and vulnerable, as he was unknowingly exposed to potential health dangers.
In search of solutions, Rey received advice from a friend abroad suggesting that he consider relationships with women to ensure safety. However, Rey admits he cannot feel a romantic spark with women and is conflicted about whether to force such a connection. He emphasizes that his primary concern remains the threat of HIV, questioning what steps he should take to protect himself while staying true to his identity.
Expert Response and Guidance
In response, Noy Kulas underscores the seriousness of HIV, particularly for individuals in Rey's age group. Statistics show that male-to-male partners account for more than 70 percent of total HIV cases in Cebu, making it a critical issue for the LGBTQ+ community. Noy Kulas advises against entering into relationships with women if there is no genuine attraction, as this could lead to self-deception and harm to others.
Prioritizing Safety and Authenticity
Noy Kulas reassures Rey that it is better to be safe and alone on Valentine's Day than to risk contracting a disease with no cure. He warns against the temptation to date women merely for the sake of having a partner during the holiday, labeling such actions as deceptive. Additionally, he stresses the importance of avoiding multiple partners, which significantly increases the risk of HIV transmission.
This advice highlights the need for open conversations about health, relationships, and personal well-being in Cebu, encouraging individuals to make informed choices without compromising their authenticity or safety.
