For Michael, the dawn of December 24, 2024, brought a familiar yet complicated feeling. While the air in the Philippines was thick with festive anticipation, his own heart held a contrasting weight of excitement and dread. The season known for family joy and celebration felt like a mounting pressure, especially after a personal crisis.
The Heavy Burden of Holiday Expectations
Having worked in Davao City for a decade after leaving his hometown in Governor Generoso, Davao Oriental, Michael was no stranger to the unique rhythm of a Filipino Christmas. Yet, this year, the demands felt overwhelming. The pressure to buy gifts, prepare feasts, and attend countless reunions was amplified by a quiet, personal sorrow. Just a week before Christmas, his 10-year relationship ended, leaving him feeling isolated and adrift while the world around him buzzed with cheer.
"With the current economic turmoil, along with the traffic on the road, I feel like it’s not really that merry for me as I grow up," Michael confessed. He recalled his cousin's words about the very real phenomenon of holiday stress for Filipinos, where financial strain, family obligations, and high expectations can transform a season of comfort into one of exhaustion.
Expert Advice: Grounding in Reality and Self-Care
Seeking solace, Michael turned to advice from mental health professionals. Dr. Ma. Bernadette Manalo-Arcena, a psychiatrist, explains that the holidays become emotionally draining when our expectations clash with reality. She advocates for managing expectations with honesty and compassion.
"Physically, there is exhaustion. There is fatigue when you don’t plan what you need to do," Dr. Manalo-Arcena stated. She further highlighted the psychological toll: "Expectations can create a mindset where we want things to happen a certain way, and when those expectations are not met, we feel like we have failed."
Her core advice is straightforward: "Do your best. Expectations should be fair and honest. Don’t do things that you are not capable of doing. We can keep things very simple."
Choosing a Simpler, More Intentional Celebration
Armed with this perspective, Michael decided to step back. He made a conscious plan to slow down and focus on what was truly meaningful. His Christmas became about a quiet family dinner, video calls with relatives abroad, and a reflective walk after the meal. He practiced setting firm boundaries, learning to say no to draining gatherings without guilt, understanding that rest is a necessity, not a weakness.
He incorporated small self-care rituals like mindfulness and deep breathing to steady himself. By limiting social media use and avoiding comparisons, he stayed present with his loved ones, appreciating what he had.
Reconnecting with the spiritual roots of the season also helped. Participating in a small church outreach and reflecting on traditions like Simbang Gabi grounded him in faith, community, and gratitude—values far beyond material gifts.
By Christmas morning, a sense of calm had replaced the anxiety. His celebrations were not perfect, but they were authentic. There was laughter over simple food, heartfelt conversations, and a peace he hadn't felt in years. Michael's story is a powerful reminder that surviving the holidays with positivity isn't about perfection or pretense. It's about letting go, honoring your limits, and intentionally choosing joy in the small, manageable moments.
Writer’s note: This story is based on a conversation from last year. Michael agreed to share his experience but requested anonymity.
