A 19-year-old mother in the Philippines has reached out for guidance, torn between her desire to secure a better future through education and her commitment to being the primary caregiver for her infant child.
A Mother's Heartfelt Plea for Guidance
In a letter published on November 18, 2025, a young woman named Magda bared her soul to advice columnist Papa Joe. Identifying herself as 19 years old with a one-year-old child, Magda expressed her deep internal conflict. Her central dilemma revolves around her strong desire to continue her education to improve her family's prospects, while simultaneously feeling that a mother should be the one to personally care for her young child.
The situation is further complicated by her family's financial constraints. Magda revealed that her mother is willing to support her return to school, but her partner is still attending vocational training and is unable to provide consistent financial help for their household expenses.
The Complexities of Family and Future
Magda's letter outlines several key concerns preventing her from easily pursuing her goal. She is reluctant to leave her child with others, firmly believing that the mother should be the one to raise the child. She also noted that her partner cannot take on primary childcare duties because he is also a student. This leaves her feeling stuck, concerned about her child's future if they remain in a financially unstable situation, yet emotionally unable to be separated from her infant.
Her poignant question, "Unsa may angay nakong buhaton?" (What should I do?), captures the essence of a struggle faced by many young parents who must balance immediate family responsibilities with long-term planning.
Papa Joe's Sobering but Practical Advice
In his response, Papa Joe acknowledged the emotional weight of Magda's decision. He presented two clear, albeit difficult, paths forward. His first suggestion was for Magda to prioritize her education and entrust her child to her mother's care, despite the sorrow of separation. He argued that the potential long-term financial hardship from not completing her education could cause even greater sorrow for her child's future.
Alternatively, he advised that if being away from her child is too painful, she could wait for her partner to finish his studies and start working. By that time, the child would be older and potentially more adaptable to being left with a caregiver. Papa Joe emphasized that difficult situations often require sacrifice, urging Magda not to rush her decision but to think it through carefully until she finds the right answer for her family.
The column serves as a poignant reminder of the tough choices confronting young families, where the path to a secure future often demands significant personal sacrifice in the present.
