A woman named Tes, 36, single but with a live-in partner, writes to agony aunt Noy Kulas for advice. She says her partner provides financial support but lacks emotional care. He often leaves her alone on weekends to be with friends or on business trips, leaving money for her to go out, though she prefers staying home.
Tes has shared her health concerns with him, suspecting possible cancer due to symptoms similar to a friend's relative who died. Her partner told her to get a check-up but showed no concern. Recently, she discovered her partner has rekindled his relationship with his ex-girlfriend, who is now pregnant. Tes feels neglected and worried about both her relationship and her health.
Noy Kulas' Advice
Noy Kulas advises Tes to communicate her feelings to her partner before deciding to leave. She should express that she feels neglected and that his lack of concern hurts her, while acknowledging his financial support is not enough.
She should also confront him about his ex and the pregnancy. If he admits it, she must ask about his plans to plan her own future. If he wants to return to his ex, she should let him go, as staying with someone who no longer loves or cares for her is painful.
Most importantly, Tes must prioritize her health. She should not rely on assumptions or symptoms she read about. Early detection is crucial for treatment. Even if she is afraid, getting checked can bring peace of mind or timely medical help.
