A 43-year-old man, identifying himself only as 'Bords,' has reached out in a state of deep regret and pain after his infidelity led to the collapse of his family unit, resulting in him being separated from his young child.
A Relationship Shattered by Trust Issues
In a heartfelt letter published on December 22, 2025, Bords revealed that he had been in a four-year live-in relationship with a woman he called Lela. The couple had a child together, which led Bords to believe their bond was secure and that marriage was the next step. He was planning to propose next year, seeking a stable family life.
However, his actions betrayed that future. Lela discovered he was having an affair with a 29-year-old co-worker. Despite his hopes for forgiveness, Lela's reaction was decisive. She left their shared home, taking their child with her. The breakup was compounded by her intense anger, which has now created a barrier between Bords and his offspring. "I already miss our child," Bords lamented, expressing the profound hurt of being cut off from his son or daughter.
The Legal and Emotional Dilemma for a Father
Bords is now grappling with two core issues: the emotional devastation of losing his family and the practical question of his parental rights. He is confused and hurt that Lela has cut off his access to their child without seeking any financial support from him. His central questions are, "What can I do? Can she legally keep our child away from me?"
He emphasizes that he is not abusive and has no criminal record, believing these factors should grant him the right to see his child.
Expert Advice: Steps Toward Resolution
In response, advice columnist Noy Kulas provided clear, structured guidance. He first addressed the mindset error, noting that some men wrongly believe having a child and marriage can trap a woman. He praised strong-willed women who stand up for themselves when trust is broken, as in this case of infidelity.
Noy Kulas then outlined a step-by-step process for Bords to regain access to his child:
- Initiate Barangay Mediation: The first course of action is to formally request a meeting through their local barangay officials to settle the matter amicably.
- Escalate to DSWD and WCPD: If Lela refuses to cooperate, Bords should seek help from the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) and the Women and Children Protection Desk (WCPD). These agencies can compel her to engage in discussions.
- File a Court Case: As a last resort, if all else fails, the issue of child custody and visitation rights should be elevated to the family court.
Noy Kulas also offered personal advice, urging Bords not to provoke Lela further in case reconciliation becomes possible. As a gesture of good faith, he strongly recommended ending the affair with the younger co-worker immediately.
The case highlights the complex emotional and legal challenges that arise from broken live-in partnerships in the Philippines, especially when children are involved and trust has been severely damaged.
