Advice Column: Jomer Seeks Guidance on Marrying a 'Maldita' Single Mother
In a heartfelt letter to Noy Kulas, Jomer, a 36-year-old single man, shares his relationship dilemma involving a single mother with a reputation for being maldita (ill-tempered). Jomer describes his past experiences, having lived with two different women without having children, which made separations easier. Now, he is in a relationship with a single mother who has two children from different fathers, noting her physical attractiveness but highlighting her challenging personality.
The Relationship Dynamics
Jomer explains that his partner's previous relationships ended because her partners could not tolerate her maldita behavior, attributed to being spoiled by her parents as the only daughter among three siblings. Despite this, Jomer feels he can manage her temper, as they have agreed to a six-month live-in trial and are currently in the third month. He observes that her maldita tendencies are manageable with him, but his family disapproves, labeling her as matapobre (snobbish), though Jomer insists she is merely introverted and ill-tempered.
His partner has already proposed marriage, expressing impatience to wait the remaining three months of their trial, claiming Jomer is the man she has been searching for. Jomer seeks Noy Kulas's advice on whether to agree to the marriage, fearing she might only be restraining her maldita nature temporarily.
Noy Kulas's Response
Noy Kulas cautions Jomer that a few months of living together is insufficient time to truly understand someone's character. He suggests that a longer period, such as two years, would be more appropriate to gauge her true behavior. Noting that two previous men could not endure her maldita ways, Noy Klas warns Jomer might become the third if he rushes into marriage.
He advises Jomer to request more time from his partner to see if she can wait patiently, emphasizing the importance of showing love and respect as a remedy for her temper. Noy Kulas encourages Jomer to adjust to her behavior without confronting her maldita tendencies directly, hoping that her past relationships might have influenced her current attitude. He praises Jomer for accepting her despite her having two children from different fathers, urging him to proceed with caution and humility.
