Miga's Dilemma: Husband Favors Nephew Over Own Children
Dear Papa Joe,
I am Miga. I want to ask for your advice on whether I am wrong for getting angry at my husband when he gives money to his nephew. Every time his nephew asks for money, he gives it. Now the nephew keeps coming back to ask for more. My own child finished senior high school through his own efforts and working part-time. I don't even tell my husband about our children's school projects because I don't want to pressure him. Sometimes, when my own child asks for money, my husband gets angry. But when his nephew asks, he doesn't get angry. That's why I am upset. Thank you.
Papa Joe's Advice
Miga, in my opinion, it is not wrong for you to feel hurt or angry because of the difference in how your husband treats his nephew compared to your own children. It is natural as a mother to feel that it is unfair when he easily gives money to his nephew but gets angry or hesitates when it comes to your children's needs.
Communicate Calmly
Try to talk to your husband when both of you are calm. Do not start by blaming or accusing him. It is better to express your feelings honestly. It is possible that he has not noticed that he is treating them differently.
Understanding Unconscious Bias
Sometimes, people do not realize their differences in treatment until someone talks to them sincerely and peacefully. Remember that helping relatives is good, but the primary responsibility of a married couple is their own family and children.
Papa Joe (Send your contributions to papajoesuperb@gmail.com)
