In a heartfelt revelation, a Filipina named Zen shares her complex emotional journey from the pain of divorce to the anxiety of a second engagement. Her story highlights the lasting impact of past betrayal and the unique challenges of moving forward.
A Decade to Heal After a Painful Divorce
Zen's first marriage ended in divorce after she discovered her then-husband, an American or foreign national often referred to as an AFAM (A Foreigner Assigned in Manila), was unfaithful. The betrayal was compounded by the fact he cheated with another Filipina. This painful experience led to the dissolution of their marriage.
It took Zen a full 10 years before she felt ready to enter into a new relationship. This significant period underscores the depth of the hurt she experienced and the time needed to rebuild her trust and sense of self after the infidelity and divorce.
New Love Blossoms from a Business Partnership
Zen eventually found love again, but it emerged from an unexpected place. She became involved with her boyfriend, who is also her business partner. Their connection began professionally; they knew each other through their business dealings before he romantically pursued her.
Their relationship progressed, and after one year of dating, he proposed marriage. Zen, caught up in the moment and the promise of a new beginning, accepted his proposal and said yes.
The Shadow of the Past: Growing Doubts and Cold Feet
However, as time has passed, Zen confesses to experiencing significant regret and fear. She describes a growing sense of "nahadlok ko nga magpakasal napud" (fear of getting married again) directly linked to her past experiences. While her fiancé is actively and excitedly planning their wedding, Zen feels herself wanting to back out.
This internal conflict is common for individuals who have endured traumatic relationships. The excitement of a new commitment is clouded by the fear of reliving past pain. Zen's story raises the question of how to differentiate between normal pre-wedding jitters and deeper, trauma-induced hesitation.
Her situation is a poignant reminder that emotional scars from infidelity and divorce can resurface at major life milestones, even a decade later. It emphasizes the importance of addressing past trauma before fully embracing a new future.
