Vic Considers Proposing to Close Friend Stella After Emotional Confession
In a heartfelt letter to advice columnist Noy Kulas, a 35-year-old single man named Vic shares a deeply personal story about his evolving relationship with a close friend, whom he refers to as Stella, a 40-year-old single woman. Their friendship, which blossomed unexpectedly over three years through a volunteer organization, has taken a romantic turn, leading Vic to seek guidance on his next steps.
A Friendship Built on Trust and Shared Experiences
Vic explains that he and Stella initially had a sibling-like bond, with him viewing her as an older sister. However, as their connection deepened, Stella requested he call her by her name instead, signaling a shift in their dynamic. Their closeness extended to their families, with both becoming integral parts of each other's lives. Vic admits he would feel a profound sense of loss if Stella were not around, highlighting the depth of their emotional attachment.
Stella's Traumatic Past and Hesitation
The letter reveals that Stella has never been in a relationship due to severe trauma stemming from a broken family background. Her father was abusive, causing immense suffering for her mother and leaving Stella with lasting emotional scars from her childhood environment. This history has made her fearful of entering into a romantic partnership, despite developing feelings for Vic.
Late last year, Vic confessed his feelings to Stella, and she responded by crying, revealing that she shared the same emotions but was terrified of pursuing a relationship. She asked for time to think, indicating her internal struggle between her affection for Vic and her unresolved trauma.
Vic's Desire for Clarity and Commitment
Now, Vic is eager to clarify their status and move forward, expressing certainty that Stella is the woman he has been searching for, regardless of her age. He writes, "Gusto ko nga ako dayon siyang minyoan kay sure ko nga siya ang babaye nga akong gipangita bisan sa iyang edad." He seeks Noy Kulas's advice on whether it is appropriate to propose directly if Stella agrees to be in a relationship, showing his readiness for a serious commitment.
Noy Kulas's Insightful Response and Cautionary Advice
In his reply, Noy Kulas acknowledges that Vic and Stella have moved beyond the initial "knowing stage" due to their years of close friendship, which naturally fostered their mutual feelings. He emphasizes that Vic must first convince Stella that he is a worthy partner who can support her complete healing from past trauma.
Noy Kulas warns Vic to be exceptionally careful, noting that even minor conflicts could significantly affect Stella, given her unresolved childhood trauma. He points out that Stella's lack of prior relationships is an indication that she may not yet be fully healed, carrying her past into the present. The advice columnist stresses that transitioning from friendship to a romantic relationship requires a different level of care and understanding.
Ultimately, Noy Kulas gives his approval for Vic to propose, stating, "Okay ra ang mo-propose ka. Dako kaayo ang kahigayunan nga motangdo na siya nimo." He encourages Vic to proceed with caution, prioritizing Stella's emotional well-being as they navigate this new chapter together.
