After decades of selflessly supporting her siblings and nieces and nephews, a 43-year-old Filipino woman using the pseudonym Elen finds herself at a personal crossroads, seeking guidance for her own happiness.
A Lifetime of Responsibility
In a heartfelt letter to SunStar's advice columnist Noy Kulas, Elen revealed that she has been a dedicated reader since her high school days. Now, at 43 years old, she is finally prioritizing her own life. For many years, her focus was entirely on her family, successfully putting her siblings through school and supporting some of her nephews and nieces. With those responsibilities fulfilled, Elen feels it is now her time to focus on herself.
The Heart of the Conflict
Elen is in a relationship with a man named Rommel, whom she has been dating for two years. The primary point of contention with her family is that Rommel is a single father who is three years her junior. He has full custody of his child, while the mother lives abroad, married to a foreigner.
Elen's parents strongly disapprove of the relationship. They have issued an ultimatum, stating that if she chooses to marry Rommel, they will not attend the wedding. This painful rejection has left Elen torn between her love for Rommel and her desire for her family's acceptance.
Noy Kulas's Empowering Counsel
In his response, Noy Kulas offered clear and supportive advice. He affirmed that Elen has honorably completed her family duties and that it is now her time to focus on her own well-being. He directly addressed the family's concerns about Rommel being a single dad, turning the perception on its head.
The fact that Rommel has custody of his child is a sign of his responsibility and good character, Noy Kulas argued. It demonstrates that he is not an irresponsible parent but one who actively cares for his son. His counsel was emphatic: "If you are happy with him, go for him, labi na kon magminyo mong duha" (If you are happy with him, go for him, especially if the two of you plan to marry).
He also gently highlighted the reality of Elen's age, noting that while a woman's early 30s are often considered ideal for marriage and childbearing, her happiness in the present moment is what truly matters.
