Seeking Guidance: A Woman's Struggle with Infertility and Relationship Fears
In a heartfelt letter to the popular advice column SunStar Tambagi ko Noy Kulas, a 34-year-old single woman using the alias Telay has shared her deeply personal and emotional dilemma. Published on January 21, 2026, her plea for help highlights a common yet often unspoken issue faced by many Filipinos, blending concerns about health, love, and family expectations in a culturally sensitive context.
The Heart of the Problem: A Medical Diagnosis and Emotional Turmoil
Telay reveals that she has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for six months, and he is eager to start a family, even discussing marriage plans within the year. However, she is grappling with a devastating medical revelation. After a previous two-year live-in relationship that did not result in pregnancy, Telay underwent a check-up and was informed by an obstetrician-gynecologist that she has a problem with her reproductive organ, making it impossible for her to conceive. The doctor warned that pregnancy could be life-threatening for her.
This diagnosis has left Telay in a state of anguish. She loves her boyfriend deeply, describing him as kind, caring, responsible, and close to his family—qualities she values highly, especially as she comes from a broken family. She feels welcomed by his family, adding to her fear of losing this connection. Her primary concern is whether to disclose her condition, worried that it might lead to a breakup, as she cannot fulfill his desire for children.
Noy Kulas's Compassionate and Practical Advice
In response, Noy Kulas offers a multi-faceted approach to Telay's situation, emphasizing both medical and emotional strategies. His advice is rooted in empathy and real-world experience, reflecting common Filipino values of faith and family.
- Seek Additional Medical Opinions: Noy Kulas strongly recommends that Telay consult other doctors for second and third opinions. He points out that medical findings can vary between practitioners, and there have been cases where initial diagnoses were incorrect. He shares a personal anecdote about his wife, who was told she could not have more children after a second pregnancy but later had several more, illustrating the importance of not relying on a single assessment.
- Practice Honest Communication: He advises Telay to be truthful with her boyfriend about the diagnosis. This honesty will allow him to make an informed decision about continuing their relationship and marriage plans. It also serves as a test of his love—whether it is conditional on having biological children or if he is willing to explore alternatives like adoption, which some couples pursue successfully.
- Embrace Faith and Prayer: Aligning with Filipino spiritual traditions, Noy Kulas encourages Telay to accompany her actions with heartfelt and persistent prayers. He suggests that faith can provide comfort and potentially lead to positive outcomes, as seen in similar cases.
Noy Kulas concludes by urging Telay to take these steps proactively, combining medical diligence with open dialogue and spiritual support. His guidance underscores a holistic view of addressing personal crises, blending practical solutions with cultural and emotional sensitivity.
