Co-Parenting After Breakup: How One Couple Prioritizes Their Child's Well-Being
When Dorothy and her partner ended their relationship in 2022, they made a firm decision within just a few months: they would continue raising their daughter together, even while living separately. "It didn't really take long before we decided to co-parent—maybe just one or two months after the breakup," Dorothy, 31, explained in Cebuano. "After a few months, we sat down and talked about how we would handle our child's schooling and other needs."
Navigating Daily Co-Parenting Challenges
Since that decision, co-parenting has become an integral part of Dorothy's daily routine. She balances work responsibilities while navigating differing parenting styles and supporting a child who moves between two distinct homes. Dorothy resides in Talisay City, while her six-year-old daughter primarily stays with her father in Barangay Mambaling, which is conveniently closer to the child's school.
Financial matters rarely present significant issues for this co-parenting arrangement. However, communication can sometimes prove challenging. Misunderstandings occasionally arise during chat conversations, which are later clarified through face-to-face discussions. Differences in parenting approaches also cause occasional friction. Dorothy describes herself as structured and firm, particularly regarding discipline, schooling, and eating habits. Her former partner adopts a more relaxed approach, sometimes allowing their daughter greater flexibility with meals or household rules.
Psychological Insights on Successful Co-Parenting
Jhaymar Garcia, a registered psychologist and psychometrician, emphasizes that co-parenting functions most effectively when grounded in consistency, coordination, and respectful communication. "When parents avoid criticizing each other in front of the child, maintain consistency and uphold shared responsibilities, children can still experience stability and psychological safety," Garcia stated.
He further emphasized that children thrive in environments where they feel emotionally secure and not caught in the middle of adult conflicts. In situations where co-parents struggle to maintain harmonious relationships, Garcia highlights the importance of clear boundaries, defined roles, and shielding children from unresolved emotional issues. Many co-parenting challenges originate from unclear expectations, differing values, and lingering pain from the separation, often compounded by work and personal stress.
From a psychological perspective, mature co-parenting requires separating the parenting role from the former romantic relationship. "Even if the partnership has ended, the parental responsibility continues," Garcia noted. Research demonstrates that children do not necessarily require parents to remain together—they need emotionally reliable caregivers who provide consistent support.
From Romantic Love to Parental Responsibility
"Children feel secure not just because parents are together, but because parents are emotionally stable and developmentally attuned—even if they are no longer partners," Garcia added. For Dorothy, romantic love has transformed into gratitude and cooperation. Although their relationship from 2017 to 2022 concluded, both parents remain actively present for milestones and important decisions, maintaining open communication while respecting established boundaries.
"I'm thankful he's still around and that we're helping each other, but it's no longer about love," Dorothy reflected. "It's about responsibility as a parent." She believes parental support must extend beyond academic needs to encompass physical and emotional requirements. "For me, all the support a child needs—not just school-related, but physical and emotional—should always be there," she concluded.
