A 28-year-old single mother from the Philippines, named Betty, has reached out to advice columnist Papa Joe with a painful and common dilemma. She is torn between her personal principles and the potential benefit to her children after her former live-in partner, the father of her child, wants to reconcile.
The Heart of Betty's Struggle
Betty explained that she ended her relationship with her child's father primarily because he was a womanizer, or 'babaero'. While he had no other vices like drinking, Betty felt that his infidelity was a profound insult and a deal-breaker. She admits she still loves him, noting that he is not difficult to love, which may be why other women are drawn to him.
Now, her ex-partner is expressing a desire to return to the family, citing the well-being of their children as the main reason. Betty, however, is hesitant and does not want to reunite. This puts her in conflict with her own parents, who are urging her to reconcile for the sake of their grandchild.
Papa Joe's Balanced Counsel
In his response published on January 8, 2026, Papa Joe offered a thoughtful perspective that weighs both sides of the emotional equation. He acknowledged that sometimes personal desires must be sacrificed for the greater good of the family.
Papa Joe suggested that if Betty still has love for her former partner and if he can prove genuine change, reconciliation could be considered. "People can indeed change from bad to good," he noted, highlighting that a complete family unit can be advantageous for children.
The Critical Factor of Trust and Instinct
However, Papa Joe placed a strong emphasis on trust and a mother's intuition. He advised Betty that if her ex's intentions seem insincere or if she fundamentally cannot trust him, she should not force a reunion.
Instead, he proposed effective co-parenting as a viable and often healthier alternative. Papa Joe warned that if a couple is constantly fighting, the children could be more negatively affected by witnessing that conflict than by living in a peaceful, separated household.
His final advice hinges on Betty's assessment of her ex's true character and commitment to change, prioritizing the children's long-term emotional environment over social pressure.
